I Have An Ex Boyfriend Who Wants To Get Back. How Do I Go About It
If you have an ex boyfriend who wants to get back, pretty much you are no doubt struggling to keep your composure and your dignity! Well the honest truth is that if you fail to hold onto to your composure and your dignity, then any chance of getting your ex boyfriend back will probably be lost.
So, it is time to stop acting like a pouting princess and instead start behaving like a responsible and mature young woman who understand what she wants and is capable of making tough decisions.
Now, discovering that you have an ex boyfriend that wants to get back means you are really going to need to look at whatever it was that caused the split between the two of you in the first place. If you dumped him suddenly because of something that he did and you have now put what happened into perspective, then without a doubt, you are going to have to do some apologizing and back peddling. So take a deep breath, stay calm and go and see him. Tell him that you have had time to think and you are now ready to forgive and forget. Not only that, you would also like to apologize for any over reaction on your part. With any luck that will be the end of the rift and you will have succeeded in getting him back.
However, if there is more to it or he does not accept your apology and you find you still have an ex boyfriend to get back, then you are going to have to do some more work.
Look at yourself! If you find yourself constantly in turmoil with your love life, then take a long hard look at what might be causing the problem. If you have issues about your own behavior that has caused comments from others or that you are not happy with, then face them. Truth is, if you are going to make a success of this relationship or any future relationship, then you have to take the long hard walk and sort yourself out.
Here are some clues! Avoid making decisions when you are emotional. You will probably make a ton of wrong decisions if you are not calm and have not thought through outcomes and consequences. Especially true, if you have an ex boyfriend to get back, because emotions and gestures are definitely the wrong approach to take to a love life in turmoil.
So, think clearly and take your time about your approach to win him back. Present him with valid and tangible reasons why this time around the relationship will work out.
Surviving A Break Up
Are you in the process of surviving a break up? It may seem like there is no hope. But, really there is.
First of all, you have to decide whether the relationship is really over or whether it is just a temporary situation. Some people find that their separation becomes even stronger after a break up.
But other times, you know that it is over and you need to go about mourning the relationship. Your ex was probably the person who you were closest to in the whole world. Now, you need to find people you can trust and other activities to replace him or her.
Sometimes you can turn to friends and family members to discuss the situation. If they are sympathetic and allow you to do the talking that you need to do, this is an optimal situation.
Unfortunately, most people are consumed with their own situations. They have little patience for dealing with other people’s problems and concerns. While they may listen for the first couple of days, their basic belief will be “get over it.”
If this is the case, you may want to consider going to a counselor. A therapist will help you work through the issues that caused your relationship to dissolve. Many people have found that a counselor is the best person to help you in surviving a break up.
At some point, you have to start to move on. One of the best ways to do this is to exchange all of the personal items you have with your ex. Most of the time, this means clothes, but there are other items which you can keep.
If there are things like toothbrushes that do not merit an exchange, throw them away. If you have personal gifts that you do not want to give back, box them up and put them away for the time being. You do not want to have anything that reminds you of your ex lying around the house for the time being.
Then, start focusing on how you can improve yourself. Because you were part of a couple for so long, you referenced yourself as “we.” Now, it is all about “me.” And, that is not a bad place to be in.
You can now do the things you want. She did not like gambling? You can now go to the guys’ poker night. He did not like chick flicks? Rent all the movies you missed.
And, start doing a self improvement campaign. Go work out. Take some classes. Join a hiking group.
Start to meet new people, particularly people who can be friends not lovers. These people will provide a valuable network for you now and in the future.
Finally, at some point, you have to put yourself back on the market again. Go to single’s events or check out online dating sites. When you find someone new who you really like, you know you will be finally over your ex.
And that is how to go about surviving a break up.
First of all, you have to decide whether the relationship is really over or whether it is just a temporary situation. Some people find that their separation becomes even stronger after a break up.
But other times, you know that it is over and you need to go about mourning the relationship. Your ex was probably the person who you were closest to in the whole world. Now, you need to find people you can trust and other activities to replace him or her.
Sometimes you can turn to friends and family members to discuss the situation. If they are sympathetic and allow you to do the talking that you need to do, this is an optimal situation.
Unfortunately, most people are consumed with their own situations. They have little patience for dealing with other people’s problems and concerns. While they may listen for the first couple of days, their basic belief will be “get over it.”
If this is the case, you may want to consider going to a counselor. A therapist will help you work through the issues that caused your relationship to dissolve. Many people have found that a counselor is the best person to help you in surviving a break up.
At some point, you have to start to move on. One of the best ways to do this is to exchange all of the personal items you have with your ex. Most of the time, this means clothes, but there are other items which you can keep.
If there are things like toothbrushes that do not merit an exchange, throw them away. If you have personal gifts that you do not want to give back, box them up and put them away for the time being. You do not want to have anything that reminds you of your ex lying around the house for the time being.
Then, start focusing on how you can improve yourself. Because you were part of a couple for so long, you referenced yourself as “we.” Now, it is all about “me.” And, that is not a bad place to be in.
You can now do the things you want. She did not like gambling? You can now go to the guys’ poker night. He did not like chick flicks? Rent all the movies you missed.
And, start doing a self improvement campaign. Go work out. Take some classes. Join a hiking group.
Start to meet new people, particularly people who can be friends not lovers. These people will provide a valuable network for you now and in the future.
Finally, at some point, you have to put yourself back on the market again. Go to single’s events or check out online dating sites. When you find someone new who you really like, you know you will be finally over your ex.
And that is how to go about surviving a break up.
Steps When Break Up With Boyfriend
Have you just broken up with a guy? Are you lost without him? Do you wonder if you can get him back? Here is some suggestions about a boyfriend break up.
First of all, decide whether the relationship is truly over. Until you are able to say that he is part of your past and not your present and future, you will not be able to move on.
This is not to say that you have to put him in the past right away. There are a number of steps you can take to get him back. You can stay part of his life in a casual way hopping to become boyfriend and girlfriend again.
But, if you are ready to move on, there are a number of steps you can take to reach closure. Closure is the process where you recognize that the relationship is over and you start to heal.
Perhaps the first thing you should do is communicate your your hurt feeling. There are several ways to do this:
· Talk to friends and family who are truly sympathetic and can help you work through your feelings. A true friend will do this.
· Go into short term therapy so you can work through your feelings with a dispassionate third party
· Write down your feelings in a journal, in poetry, or in music. This is an inexpensive way to express yourself and does not require anyone else to participate.
Once you have come to some level of closure, get rid of anything you have of your ex’s. These things will only remind you of him. Some things you may not want to give back because they have value. Other things you can just throw it away. And, if he is given you gifts that you want to keep, box them up and store them for the time being.
Next, figure out how you are going to spend your time now that you are not part of a couple. You may feel that time hangs heavy on your hands. Or, you may find that you are liberated by not having to do everything your ex wanted you to do.
Get involved in things that make you happy. Go to the gym so that you look and feel good. Spend some time getting pampered at the spa. Take a Spanish class at the community center. Or, start to volunteer work.
By doing things that please you, you will become a happier person. You will find that you will less miss the relationship.
One of the ways you will know that you are over your ex is that you will start to develop feelings for a new guy. Maybe these will be reciprocated. Eventually, you will find a new man and form a new relationship. That will be when you know you have really moved on. The boyfriend break up would not be so serious any more.
First of all, decide whether the relationship is truly over. Until you are able to say that he is part of your past and not your present and future, you will not be able to move on.
This is not to say that you have to put him in the past right away. There are a number of steps you can take to get him back. You can stay part of his life in a casual way hopping to become boyfriend and girlfriend again.
But, if you are ready to move on, there are a number of steps you can take to reach closure. Closure is the process where you recognize that the relationship is over and you start to heal.
Perhaps the first thing you should do is communicate your your hurt feeling. There are several ways to do this:
· Talk to friends and family who are truly sympathetic and can help you work through your feelings. A true friend will do this.
· Go into short term therapy so you can work through your feelings with a dispassionate third party
· Write down your feelings in a journal, in poetry, or in music. This is an inexpensive way to express yourself and does not require anyone else to participate.
Once you have come to some level of closure, get rid of anything you have of your ex’s. These things will only remind you of him. Some things you may not want to give back because they have value. Other things you can just throw it away. And, if he is given you gifts that you want to keep, box them up and store them for the time being.
Next, figure out how you are going to spend your time now that you are not part of a couple. You may feel that time hangs heavy on your hands. Or, you may find that you are liberated by not having to do everything your ex wanted you to do.
Get involved in things that make you happy. Go to the gym so that you look and feel good. Spend some time getting pampered at the spa. Take a Spanish class at the community center. Or, start to volunteer work.
By doing things that please you, you will become a happier person. You will find that you will less miss the relationship.
One of the ways you will know that you are over your ex is that you will start to develop feelings for a new guy. Maybe these will be reciprocated. Eventually, you will find a new man and form a new relationship. That will be when you know you have really moved on. The boyfriend break up would not be so serious any more.
Did Your girlfriend Break up With You?
Did your girlfriend break up with you? You are not the first guy to go through this. In fact, girls initiate three quarters of the break ups while guys only dump the girl in one quarter of the situations. Therefore, guys have to deal with being dumped far more often than girls do.
Compounding the problem is the impression that men are supposed to deal with their emotions stoically. While women are allowed to dissect every part of their relationship, men are expected to roll with the punches.
But this does not mean that men do not have emotions. They hurt when women dump them. A girlfriend break up is quite painful.
First of all, men tend to place more value on stable relationships than women do. While a man might be interested in a fling with a woman who is not his girlfriend, what he really wants is someone who will be there in good times and bad.
But, once your girlfriend has dumped you, it is important to figure out how to pick up the pieces and go on with your life.
First of all, you should find some way to express yourself. Girls can do this by writing poetry or talking about the relationship endlessly with their friends. Men often do not feel comfortable with these options. But, if you play the guitar or piano, try writing some music that allows you to express your feelings. Many of the great songs are about the pain of breaking up.
Next, you need to clear out your place of all of the things that remind you of her. If she has clothes at your house, give them back. Throw away her toothbrush. And, if she has given you any gifts that you want to keep, box them up for the time being until you can look at them without having turbulent emotions.
You will want to close off communications with her, at least for the short term. If either of you owe the other money, try to settle up so that would not be an avenue for talking.
Then tell your ex that you want to go silent for a while. That means no calls, texts, or emails. Give each other space. In time, you may be able to be friends again, but right now you both need to give each other the space to heal.
Then, you need to get out of the house. Make a point of playing pick up basketball with your friends. Go out to a bar from time to time. Become a big brother to an underprivileged kid.
Then, start to get back into the dating scene once again. At first, you can have casual dates that may not lead to anything. But, over time, you will meet someone you really care about.
Compounding the problem is the impression that men are supposed to deal with their emotions stoically. While women are allowed to dissect every part of their relationship, men are expected to roll with the punches.
But this does not mean that men do not have emotions. They hurt when women dump them. A girlfriend break up is quite painful.
First of all, men tend to place more value on stable relationships than women do. While a man might be interested in a fling with a woman who is not his girlfriend, what he really wants is someone who will be there in good times and bad.
But, once your girlfriend has dumped you, it is important to figure out how to pick up the pieces and go on with your life.
First of all, you should find some way to express yourself. Girls can do this by writing poetry or talking about the relationship endlessly with their friends. Men often do not feel comfortable with these options. But, if you play the guitar or piano, try writing some music that allows you to express your feelings. Many of the great songs are about the pain of breaking up.
Next, you need to clear out your place of all of the things that remind you of her. If she has clothes at your house, give them back. Throw away her toothbrush. And, if she has given you any gifts that you want to keep, box them up for the time being until you can look at them without having turbulent emotions.
You will want to close off communications with her, at least for the short term. If either of you owe the other money, try to settle up so that would not be an avenue for talking.
Then tell your ex that you want to go silent for a while. That means no calls, texts, or emails. Give each other space. In time, you may be able to be friends again, but right now you both need to give each other the space to heal.
Then, you need to get out of the house. Make a point of playing pick up basketball with your friends. Go out to a bar from time to time. Become a big brother to an underprivileged kid.
Then, start to get back into the dating scene once again. At first, you can have casual dates that may not lead to anything. But, over time, you will meet someone you really care about.
How To Get Over A Break Up When Your Heart Is Broken
Few things are more painful than having your heart broken.
Both men and women experience the pain of breaking up. Sometimes you are the one who called it off and other times your ex did, but in either case, there is a feeling of bad pain on both sides. And, sometimes the break up happened for good reasons while other times it seemed to go up in a puff of smoke for no reason at all. These can be the most painful of all.
If you do not go about getting over the break up though, there can be some serious consequences. Do not fall into the trap of lingering over a lost love. The worst trap of all is to start to write a “victim story” that makes you the protagonist in a tale of love gone bad.
First of all, you should realize that if you do not get over your ex, it will be toxic to any future relationship you might have.
Second, realize that you can not run away from it, medicate it, or suppress it. You have to face the pain head on and deal with it.
There is no way out of a broken heart. There is only a way through. Accept that there is going to be pain. Use the time during this period to understand the feeling of being hurt. Some ways to do this are to write in a journal, get counseling, or pour your heart out in song. Realize there are no quick solutions to getting over break up.
Next, you need to examine whether there is anything in your past that would have lead to this break up. For instance, did the abuse in your childhood cause you to be an abuser in this relationship? Take note of those things because they will help you foster healthier relationships in the future.
Do not paint yourself as the victim of the relationship either. Take responsibility for your actions. While your ex may have been the one whose “fault” was the immediate cause of the break up, the truth is that the underlying circumstances were caused by both of you.
By getting rid of your “victim story” you become a healthier person, more attractive partner for a future boyfriend or girlfriend. You will begin to see that your “victim story” was composed of beliefs, attitudes and thoughts that color your perceptions about everything. It becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.
When you handle your broken heart badly, you perpetuate your pain. You will never go about getting over break up.
But, when you can handle your emotions with the ultimate goal of letting them go, you enable the process of healing.
Getting over a broken heart takes hard work. It also takes time. Do not underestimate the factors which go into curing your heartbreak.
You have just lost a person who was extremely important to your life. But, use this time for your personal growth and you will become a stronger person and have better relationships in the future. That is how you really go about getting over break up.
Both men and women experience the pain of breaking up. Sometimes you are the one who called it off and other times your ex did, but in either case, there is a feeling of bad pain on both sides. And, sometimes the break up happened for good reasons while other times it seemed to go up in a puff of smoke for no reason at all. These can be the most painful of all.
If you do not go about getting over the break up though, there can be some serious consequences. Do not fall into the trap of lingering over a lost love. The worst trap of all is to start to write a “victim story” that makes you the protagonist in a tale of love gone bad.
First of all, you should realize that if you do not get over your ex, it will be toxic to any future relationship you might have.
Second, realize that you can not run away from it, medicate it, or suppress it. You have to face the pain head on and deal with it.
There is no way out of a broken heart. There is only a way through. Accept that there is going to be pain. Use the time during this period to understand the feeling of being hurt. Some ways to do this are to write in a journal, get counseling, or pour your heart out in song. Realize there are no quick solutions to getting over break up.
Next, you need to examine whether there is anything in your past that would have lead to this break up. For instance, did the abuse in your childhood cause you to be an abuser in this relationship? Take note of those things because they will help you foster healthier relationships in the future.
Do not paint yourself as the victim of the relationship either. Take responsibility for your actions. While your ex may have been the one whose “fault” was the immediate cause of the break up, the truth is that the underlying circumstances were caused by both of you.
By getting rid of your “victim story” you become a healthier person, more attractive partner for a future boyfriend or girlfriend. You will begin to see that your “victim story” was composed of beliefs, attitudes and thoughts that color your perceptions about everything. It becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.
When you handle your broken heart badly, you perpetuate your pain. You will never go about getting over break up.
But, when you can handle your emotions with the ultimate goal of letting them go, you enable the process of healing.
Getting over a broken heart takes hard work. It also takes time. Do not underestimate the factors which go into curing your heartbreak.
You have just lost a person who was extremely important to your life. But, use this time for your personal growth and you will become a stronger person and have better relationships in the future. That is how you really go about getting over break up.
Strategies To Win Back Lost Lost Love
We all have emotions and love is the strongest passion of them all. Therefore, when love ends, it may seem fatal. But there are ways to win back lost love. We will look at five strategies to pursue when you are trying to get your lover back.
First of all, you need to be honest to yourself and to each other. If there were underlying problems in your relationship, it is essential that you address them. For instance, if housework was a big issue, you need to address it before you can get back together. If you are messy and your ex was a neat freak, it can cause a considerable amount of stress in the relationship. If one person felt they were doing all the housework, it can cause a strain. Finances are another area where there can be strain. To win back lost love, you have to address these areas before you get back together.
Next, you need to be a dependable person. If you have broken up already, you need to be dependable as an ex. You need to be there when he or she needs you, even though you no longer have a “responsibility” to. For instance, if she is moving, lend a helping hand and your truck. If he needs someone to type his resume, do it for him.
Third, encourage your ex. One of the things people miss when they break up is the encouragement their partner gives them. So, to win back lost love, try to find out where they are discouraged and cheer them up. If they are having a performance review at work, send an email timed to get there right before the meeting. If they are singing a solo at church, show up to give them some moral support.
Fourth, listen to them when they call. Most of the time after a break up, there is some level of communication. Often, this degenerates into fights. But, if you really listen to the things your ex is telling you, you may be able to figure out a way to get back into their life. Encourage them to share their problems with you. Do not try to solve them. Just let them express their concerns with life. Be a sounding board.
Fifth, do not sit on the sidelines. Life is meant to be played on the playing field. If you sit on the sidelines, it is likely that someone else will become the quarterback of their life. Do not give up on the relationship unless you are ready to move on yourself. Things are not going to get better on their own. You have to go out and make things better.
If you want to win back lost love, you have to take this five part action guide to heart. You have to be proactive.
The most important thing is to show you really care about your ex and tell him or her that you do care. You should not be worried if they date other people because they will come back to you if you are the right person for them.
You should know that it is possible to win back lost love. Now go out there and do it!
First of all, you need to be honest to yourself and to each other. If there were underlying problems in your relationship, it is essential that you address them. For instance, if housework was a big issue, you need to address it before you can get back together. If you are messy and your ex was a neat freak, it can cause a considerable amount of stress in the relationship. If one person felt they were doing all the housework, it can cause a strain. Finances are another area where there can be strain. To win back lost love, you have to address these areas before you get back together.
Next, you need to be a dependable person. If you have broken up already, you need to be dependable as an ex. You need to be there when he or she needs you, even though you no longer have a “responsibility” to. For instance, if she is moving, lend a helping hand and your truck. If he needs someone to type his resume, do it for him.
Third, encourage your ex. One of the things people miss when they break up is the encouragement their partner gives them. So, to win back lost love, try to find out where they are discouraged and cheer them up. If they are having a performance review at work, send an email timed to get there right before the meeting. If they are singing a solo at church, show up to give them some moral support.
Fourth, listen to them when they call. Most of the time after a break up, there is some level of communication. Often, this degenerates into fights. But, if you really listen to the things your ex is telling you, you may be able to figure out a way to get back into their life. Encourage them to share their problems with you. Do not try to solve them. Just let them express their concerns with life. Be a sounding board.
Fifth, do not sit on the sidelines. Life is meant to be played on the playing field. If you sit on the sidelines, it is likely that someone else will become the quarterback of their life. Do not give up on the relationship unless you are ready to move on yourself. Things are not going to get better on their own. You have to go out and make things better.
If you want to win back lost love, you have to take this five part action guide to heart. You have to be proactive.
The most important thing is to show you really care about your ex and tell him or her that you do care. You should not be worried if they date other people because they will come back to you if you are the right person for them.
You should know that it is possible to win back lost love. Now go out there and do it!
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