Secret relationships sound exciting and adventurous. Just having a secret is provocative, but when there is romance and sex involved it makes the secret even more exciting. Do you know why secret relationships have such a big appeal, and that people wonder why you are smiling all the time?
Secret relationships are not uncommon. But you should also realize that they do not always work. In fact, having a relationship that is a secret can put a huge strain on you as a couple. The odds of this type of relationship only last a short time are pretty high.
It can be more difficult than you think to go very long without talking about the relationship. If it were not secret, you would probably mention your partner throughout the day in casual conversation. Even just mentioning something you saw together or talked about would be a natural thing to do.
But in secret relationships, you have to keep yourself from doing that. You might find it on the tip of your tongue to talk about your partner and have to watch yourself all the time. Having to censor yourself several times a day can be quite a source of stress.
There is also the worry about being seen together. People in this type of relationships do not have the luxury of going out to a great restaurant for dinner. They can not go see the latest movie together, or walk down the road holding hands.
There are exceptions to this. If you are keeping the relationship secret because you are good friends and you do not want people to know, you can still be seen together. But you will have to give only appearance of friendship around others.
Some relationships are kept secret for that very reason. Friends have become more than that but dot’ want to “jinx” the relationship. Or they decide that their group of friends might not understand. And they think maybe keeping it a secret is a good idea in case things do not work out. Then the friends would never have to know.
Many co-workers who start dating keep the secret for the same reason. Things would just be easier at work if other people did not know, while it is happening in case it ends. And with work situations, where such dating might be discouraged, it will be necessary to keep the relationship secret.
But by keeping it a secret for those reasons, it is as if you are saying that it is not going to work out. At least, you are showing that you have serious doubts about it. How healthy does it seem to be in a relationship that you believe it would not last, so much so that you are keeping it a secret?
While the relationship might be thrilling at first and seem like an adventure, the best way to have secret relationships is that both understand the situation.
